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As we live longer we are changing how we define old. It does not necessarily mean feeble, ailing or dependent as Meika Loe discusses in her new book Aging Our Way: Lessons for Living from 85 and Beyond. Here are 13 Lessons she learned as she followed the routine lives of people aged 85 and older around the areas she lives and works in New York.

1. Continue to Do What You Did
2. (Re)Design Your living Space
3. Live in Moderation
4. Take Time for Self
5. Ask for Help; Mobilize Resources
6. Connect with Peers
7. Resort to Tomfoolery
8. Care for Others
9. Reach Out to Family
10. Get Intergenerational; Redefine Family
11. Insist on Hugs
12. Be Adaptable
13. Accept and Prepare for Death

Meika Loe is an associate professor of sociology and women’s studies, Director of the Women’s Studies Program and interim director of the Upstate Institute at Colgate University.

Reprinted from Aging our Way: Lessons for Living from 85 and Beyond by Meika Loe, published by Oxford University Press, Inc. Copyright © 2011 by Oxford University Press, Inc.